Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I just rewatched one of my favourite movies of recent years: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I don't think Kaufman is flawless but what I love about his works is how he gives his misfits the stamp of humanity. Surely, a lot of this is influenced by his own experiences (so I’ve read of his youthful days as a loser), the yearning to be somebody else, the feeling of missing something, all that emotional baggage and whatnot.

Anyway, I'm not going to write a review of it cause I'm not a film critic. Luckily, one of the many hats that Patrick wears is fim critic (along with artist, cultural theorist, pianist, accomplished writer, talented cook, puh-lease, you sure know how to make a person feel ashamedly envious and completely inadequate. Thank god, my ego is fairly sturdy :p.)

Anyway, this is my intelligent boyfriend's review:

I went into this film very worried. Everyone had been telling me how good it was, how brilliant it was, and I have to confess I was sceptical. Charlie Kaufman irritates me; his scripts are - in my opinion - frequently misanthropic and juvenile, his huge, winking quotation marks as gratuitous as anything Jerry Bruckheimer would produce. The last film he did with Michel Gondry, Human Nature, was one of the worst movies of 2001. Eternal Sunshine, however, defeated my expectations easily. This is far and away Kaufman’s most mature work, and Gondry has bought it to the big screen with a newfound sense of restraint.

Joel is having a hard time. He’s broken up with his girlfriend Clementine, and - to his horror - she has had an operation to erase all memory of him from her mind. In a fit of pique, Joel decides to have the same procedure performed on himself. The anaesthetic isn’t so successful, though, and halfway through, Joel wakes up in his own head. Now, struck with the realisation that he doesn’t want to forget his relationship with Clementine, Joel is racing through his own memories, trying to find a place to hide her. What could be played out as a thriller instead becomes a gentle drama, with Joel, Clementine, and the other characters struggling with the ramifications of memory, loss and time.

Much has been made of Gondry’s virtuoso technique in this film. As Joel’s memory gets erased, the very buildings and people themselves disappear, segueing smoothly into another memory, and another. The fact is, though, Gondry has really reigned himself in. Gone is the manic whimsy and endless mirror-halls of his music video-clips. Faced with a finite idea, Gondry has had to deal with things disappearing instead of multiplying, and for the most part he’s very faithful to that. The camera is - if not subtle - at least very understandable, and mainly unobtrusive. There is a section in the middle that harks back - for both Gondry and Kaufman - to their earlier work, but it’s kept in check by the steadily moving narrative.

The cast themselves are all fantastic. Jim Carrey - so much better when he’s not trying to wring an Oscar out of someone - captures Joel’s confusion, sadness and also muted joy perfectly. Kate Winslet, always great, lends a typically shrill and irrational Kaufman woman a sense of appeal that she otherwise might not have. Mark Ruffalo, Kirsten Dunst and Tom Wilkinson flesh out supporting roles adroitly and no one really puts a step wrong.

Eternal Sunshine isn’t trying to say something particularly profound, but - unlike all of Kaufman’s other work - it’s subtle, and I really enjoyed not to being spoonfed. The idea of erasing our memories, is, ironically, not one that we need a machine for. Everyone can look back at moments in their past with a sense of wonder at the flood of emotions accompanying them. Indeed, everyone erases their memories to one extent or another, and watching Joel rage against the dying of the light, we can also empathise with that. The film, for the most part, is played as an elegy to forgetting. Joel and the other characters - unlike most of us - are confronted by their own subjectivity, and the gulf is a wide one.

And yet, the film isn’t pessimistic. There is an implication here that there are some things we can’t forget, and some things we should, too. Listening afresh to tapes that they can’t remember recording, we share the protagonists’ sense of horror because emotions shouldn’t be set in stone, it’s just not human. In keeping the focus narrow - inside of one man’s head - Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind becomes something surprisingly simple, elegant and emotional. Ignoring the culture he seems to detest so much has left Kaufman with something better: humanity. Here’s hoping it stays in his work.

PS.
Patrick and I disagree on the ending. I reckon they get back together and give it a second shot. Which is strange because he's more of a romantic than I am.

Don't Hassle the Hoff!!

Muahahahaha, the Hoff is in town.
Anyone who can take the piss out of himself is alright with me.

Asked why he had become hip again, he said: "I think the whole world has gone retro. ... Knight Rider was all about saving lives and heroes and fun and stuff and I think people are trying to get back to that. I take no Hoff-ence. It's a gag."

http://www.smh.com.au/news/people/hoff-a-nice-day-sydney/2005/10/19/1129401301574.html

People that shit me

I've said it for years, I absolutely detest Ruddock and his apprentice, Vanstone. I really cannot understand them at all. And the whole children overboard affair and Tampa and excising of our islands. It’s really fucked up and hypocritical. It seriously frustrates me when people (well, all the Young Libs I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting) support our role in Iraq under a “humanitarian” raison d'être, yay us for liberating the poor oppressed Iraqi and Afghanistan people. But then advocate shit like “all refugee claims are bogus” when the majority of asylum seekers that arrive on our shores are Iraqi refugees. It’s so damn hypocritical; give yourself a pat on the back for helping these people but god forbid, if the same oppressed people want to start a new life here because their house was demolished by an American GBU-52 Paveway bomb dropped from an Australian F18.

Grrr!
Double Grrr!

I am sick and in a bad mood! Beware!!! :p

Birthdays Galore

Last night, GCF met for Clyn'es 24th birthday dinner. It started with drinks in the city and moved towards Burwood (as so many of us needed to park our cars somewhere safe! :p). I wanted to go to my favourite Italian restaurant, Acabonara, but alas, our group was too big. We eventually ended up at Cafe D'Or and the food was pretty nice and plentiful, I love lebanese! However, we were divided on to two tables so I didn't get to catch up with everyone. I love you guys!

A lot of the conversations were primarily based that latest updates on uni, love lives, work, housemates, etc... AND Irene and Andy turned up with wedding invites. We worked ourselves up into a frenzy with excitement over the first bona fide GCF wedding (and shopping for pretty dresses!!!). The boys, rather predictably, starting whinging that it was Grand Final weekend. lol Pfft..who cares?! And Karen whinged about missing it altogether because her 3 month travelling adventure starts next month and unfortunately, she's going to miss the Hen's weekend too. Poor Kazza. We'll take lots of photos for you. Dinner was a loud, fun, crazy, boisterous affair (poor cafe staff) and we ended the night on gelato.

This is the month for birthdays: dad, Clyne, Ko, Zulf, Cindy's and some more (but those are the ones I remember off by heart without having to consult my birthday spreadsheet).

In other news, I started my new department at work and am loving it. :D The work is challenging though not stressful (as the deadlines are not as tight) and my new (though old) colleagues are the best. It doesn't feel like a "corporate environment" as such because the people are young, have active social lives and wear jeans a lot! North Sydney is also a pretty cool location; enough shops for me to browse around when I am bored.

Currently reading: Life of Pi.

My boyfriend is the best..

I am in love with him. That is all. :)

Life is pretty sweet at the moment.

An unjust war is just that

I find myself shaking my head a lot these days when engaged in arguments about the Iraq war. Saddam was hunted down, for sure, but at what cost? Do the ends justify the means? Quite simply, I don’t think using the recent Iraqi election as a basis arguing for the case of the war makes any sense. It’s utter nonsense. An unjust war remains an unjust war regardless of outcomes. It simply cannot gain legitimacy because the occupying aggressor deems the result as “democratic” and “favourable;” that’s as ludicrous as suggesting that such a war is legit by virtue of the passage of time.

How well do we know ourselves?

I blame it on the philosophy texts I am currently reading (a subjective mix of Aristotle, Plato, Descartes, Hobbes, Kant, Nietzsche and Hume*) as I often find myself ruminating the most abstract circular notions these days like the notion of free will, whether altruism is a myth, what makes a lift worthwhile, is love simply a neurochemical process and so on. But my favourite is "how well do we know ourselves?"

Murakami writes a wonderful passage in Sputnik Sweetheart that really emotionally resonated with me:

"I find it hard to talk about myself#. I'm always tripped up by the eternal who am I? paradox. Sure, no one knows as much pure data about me as me. But when I talk about myself, all sorts of other factors - values, standards, my own limitations as an observer - make me, the narrator, select and eliminate things about me, the narratee. I've always been disturbed by the thought that I'm not painting a very objective picture of myself....

....The more I think about it, the more I'd like to take a raincheck on the topic of me. What I'd like to know more about is the objective reality of things outside myself. How important the world outside is to me, how I maintain a sense of equilibrium by coming to terms with it. That's how I'd grasp a clearer sense of who I am."

How well do you know you?

(NB.
* I haven't really read that much at all to be honest! I'm just trying to sound smart, philosophimical and name-drop :p Philosophy is hardcore!! I need time and patience.
#. But I also think talking excessively about oneself can be so boring, unhealthily narcissistic, and the rest. It's one thing to be self-aware and another, to be completely self-absorbed. I should know. :p)

The SPAM war has started...

Tuesday night at dinner, I proposed this fantastic idea to SPAM each other in verse. Of course, every laughed at my suggestion, dismissing me and it as "stop trying to be like all smart and stuff". Idiots.

Wednesday morning, in my inbox, I find a plethora of SPAM (surprise, surprise), all done in rhyme. So this is my response (and I'm posting Ken's counter, I hope this juxtaposition reveals how dorky he really is!)

"It's so funny how last night
When I asked everyone to write
Our SPAM in rhyming composition
You all laughed at my proposition!

Thus, you can imagine my surprise
This morning, I found in email replies
An abundance of verses in rhyme
Because y'all have too much free time!

From your Prez, "good work, little minions"
And I should mention, it is my humble opinion,
Andy's rap was by far the most superior
Even if he has a God-motivated ulterior!

Sigh. Its sad that this must end here
Because it's lunch time my dears.
And the tennis beckons from the tele
So au revoir, chat later. Love Smelly!

-Lynn (FFL President)

The response from Ken:

"Now that rap war has started
which is quite lucky since I just farted,
Out of the smokey abyss
U will feel the fury hit you like my fist

Yes I must agree
it is quite funn-ieee
how you can be such a nerd
by starting your rap war with the word "Werd"

Why must you be so dorky
with the rest of your rap being quite porky
that I could eat it up just like that
but being a womans weight, it may contain too much fat

And then there is the claim about the "idea"
you came up to rhyme emails, in fear
that people would find that the almighty Shorty
came up with that idea at eight-fourty

However I do not believe in taking the limelight
as I like to spread the load as with my fight
still the very end i die wonder-ing
if I will ever stop shit-stirr-ing

So i pass the light to the next contender
to step up just like that dude in "the pretender"
to get wiggity whacked and get jiggy widdiit'
as long as they bring-it'"

And thus, began the rap SPAM war.
Bring it!

Tennis Frenzy

I am totally ecstatic, ridiculously fan-girl giddy, over the tennis at the moment. I seriously think it's the highlight of my otherwise prosaic year. Unfortunately, due to full-time work this year, I was unable to take any time off to assist at the Sydney International (I refuse to use the title "medibank international"! So lame). But I did get lovely calls from the staff there throughout the week, just to update me on the scores, the gossip behind the scenes and of course, Moya (affectionately known as tag dag). ;)

"Moya Moya, He's my Boya". That's a sign that a devoted fan designs for Carlos every friggin year since like 1999. She's genuinely very sweet, if not a tad obsessed. One year (maybe 2002?), I had to ask him to autograph this book she had made, a comprehensive collage of news articles, interviews, promo pics. He looked slightly perturbed but joked about it. He's so cool, if I were like a tad bit older and less deathly-afraid of taking flights, I would totally become his tennis ho! ;) So very lamentable that he bowed out in the first round of the Open.

I leave for Melbourne tomorrow night with Pat and Clyne as travelling companions. Oh my gawd, Pat has a deafening snore and Clyne hogs the bathroom incessantly. He has more beauty products than I do. *sigh* How wil I survive?!?

Tips for the Aus Open: Federer (he's one of my favourites, almost rivalling Edberg as my favourite ever player. I mean, Lendl was great in his time but he was such an arsehole.) and Serena (The Williams sisters are great).

[In other news, how screwed up are the ALP. They're not my Party of choice but still, I'd like to see a credible Opposition. It's time to move Left and get behind Gillard. My optimism shining through once again)

A time for reflection...

Many things happened in 2004, to say I was ill-prepared for most of them is an understatement. Now I find myself at the beginning of 2005, it presents itself before me: new, untouched, full of things that have never been, full of work that has never been done, full of tasks, claims, and demands. I face it with some trepidation but also with excitement.

These are my resolutions (in no particular order):

- move into a new place and live by myself
- get out of Sydney and out of the country, at least once
- be a better sister, a better daughter, a better aunt, a better friend, a better person (because I stretched myself much too thinly in 2004 and this is the year for making amends)
- do more volunteer work and be more appreciative of my life
- spend less time analysing and feeling the world’s weight on my shoulders, be less angsty and inject some much needed levity in my thoughts (!)
- go skinny-dipping
- read and write more
- enrol in external philosophy classes
- take up pilates and kick-boxing

Thoreau once said "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." This year, for a change from those 23 odd years of existence, I resolve not to step too far away.

Happy new year everyone!!

PS.
Please donate to the tsunami relief fund if you haven't already.

Human Rights Day

December 10 is Human Rights Day and six months on from the Human Rights Commission’s deadline for releasing ALL children from Detention. (At the rate the number of child detainees is increasing, how many will be behind bars by then?)
Where: Pitt Street Mall, Sydney
When: 12:00 noon - 2:00pm Friday 10 December

Children out of Detention

Give me a buzz if you're going to be there. :)

Why so mean?

I spent the afternoon in bed with a fever watching Mean Girls which was written by Tina Fey (of SNL fame). My verdict: pretty fantastic all round. My only gripe was why Cady had to end up with “man-candy” at all? But I suppose the message of being happy with yourself and it spreading to all those around you, had to be hammered home. Though, I think it was the more subtle vignettes that really helped carried the intensity of the message in a more effective (and entertaining) manner.

It did make me ruminate the social aggression that takes place in human interactions and certainly, not only limited to one gender nor age group. When we are mean to someone else, I think that it says more about how we feel about ourselves than it does about how we feel about the rest of the world. What happens when a person believes that their status is determined solely by their peer relationships? The answer is obvious, isn’t it? Watch the movie, it’s much more hilarious and sassier than any long-winded explanation I could ever give.

Seven Types of Ambiguity

"There is ambiguity in most human relationships. Like a sequence of words, a relationship can be open to different interpretations. And when two people have differing views, not merely of the state of their relationship, but of its very nature, it can affect the entire course of their lives."

A compelling novel by Eliot Perlman.

"The culture of every man for himself has so triumphed that any concern for the common good is referred to a psychiatrist. Emotionally we live in the darkness of the shadows of ourselves" and '"This is the single greatest achievement of the last twenty-five years … the enslavement of millions of people under the aegis of globalisation … It is a cold and brutish age'" are two of Alex's (the psychiatrist) stinging indictments of the commercialisation of our age. I tend to agree with him. (And I hold a Commerce degree :p)

Eavesdropping on the neighbours

Here I was innocently sitting down in front of my computer writing about the future for Palestinians and the implications of Arafat’s death (when it does happen) and my thoughts are intruded and hindered by my neighbours’ arguments. At first, I am rather annoyed but as I continue to listen, I’m strangely intrigued by the nature of their argument. And my neighbours, they don’t actually care who hears it, they’re lovely people but very loud!

Anyway, so the young ‘un of the family (a girl still in high school) has been unwillingly engaged in a conversation with her mother and older brother. To get to the essence of it, they’re basically telling her that she should not sleep with her boyfriend because he would lose all respect for her. And that it doesn’t matter if she sleeps with one person or the entire populace, she will be labelled a “slut” by the community. The poor girl is trying to argue her perspective but is drowned out by the “wiser,” more opinionated voices. Eventually, she concedes defeat (albeit, she did put up a good fight).

Wow, people still think in that outdated mode? I mean, I have this strong urge to go over there and tell her that a man who judges her in such a manner is really not worth her time. There are far more important aspects to a person, like the content of their character (yes, I’m plagiarising Martin Luther King ;) ). I'm not advocating that she should sleep or not sleep with him. She should make up her own mind about that. What shouldn't happen is this poor girl should grow up thinking that somehow a person's worth is ultimately dependent on something as ridiculous as their sexual history. Pfft…there’s nothing wrong with being “slutty” regardless of gender, if that is your choice. Kind of like that Ben Harper song (that I think is applicable here):

My choice is what I choose to do,
And if I'm causing no harm, it shouldn't bother you.
Your choice is who you choose to be,
And if you're causin' no harm, then you're alright with me.

Oddly, tied into all this was something funny I read on Nancy's Xanga site. See, when you do it in public then it's a bit of a problem. Voyeuristic exhibitionism, not cool at all. It makes for a funny anecdote though. :p

Wingnut or loony leftie...

There are some things I do that are utterly inexplicable. The mind boggles at why I persist.

For example, reading the Sunday Telegraph (secretly, I buy it for Wil Andersen's "pop" column) and reading Piers Ackerman's column. Last week he took a swipe at Arundhati Roy, this week at Fairfax and ABC journalists (particularly Margo Kingston and Paul McKeogh). He even had the audacity to suggest there is no censorship regarding the media. Reading his work is like being drawn to a car accident, I know I shouldn’t take a look (not even a small peek) but some mysterious gravitational force compels me and the outcome is always one of disgust, disbelief and plain revulsion. Oh why did I look in the first place?

I suppose it could be worse, I could get my jollies out of listening to talkback the likes of Lawsey and Stan Zemanek. :D

Actually, political blogs are the best, the mud-slinging that goes on is fantastic (the best form of procrastination, keeps me amused for hours). There is this one blog that surely must be a farce and parody of young Liberal law students. It can be found here: Miranda Airey-Branson. Just look at the name! She must be taking the piss. If not, then the world is a scary scary place. ;)

(PS. This is going to be my prolific blogging month! This means subjecting you, dear readers, to the most prosaic, discursive, epic musings! ;))

Writing is a curse?

I was reading on the Vibewire Forums that a few vibies are partaking in something called the National Novel Writing Month. Very very ambitious. 50 000 words in one month!! The emphasis is on quantity, not quality. But for someone like myself (a recovering perfectionist), I still cringe at just about everything I write. And I am, emphatically, not a bona fide writer, I much prefer reading. The only sort of pieces I'm happy to write are fluffy pieces of crap because:

1. there's no real need for objectivity (or even to operate under a guise of such ;) )
2. I can harangue!! hehe (Like I do here: Who is Monitoring the Multinational?

However, to write a novel! What a feat and imagine a Pulitzer-Prize winning novel! :) I couldn't do it. Particularly, you know, my ideas for a novel would mean writing something that is personal, something that would resonate emotionally. I also don't have the inspiration to write for an audience, I think, I'll just stick to writing for myself. It’s always a struggle to capture the intent, the passion, the imagery, the nature of thoughts. I curse those born with a natural mastery of language and its subtleties.

Speaking of novels, I spent this morning re-reading Bridget Jones': The Edge of Reason in my backyard and ridiculously laughing my head off at her predicaments. It's not that I completely identify with Bridget (she's a bit too neurotic) but I think she's a terribly likeable protagonist (in the same league as Liz Bennett). I do see parts of myself in her though eg. making an arse of myself in public, being terribly inarticulate in the most inopportune moments, indulging in food in times of desperation ;).

Anyway, there is a fatal fatal mistake in that book. There's no possible way that Darcy could ever vote Tory!! It's about as probable as my joining the Liberal Party tomorrow. I mean it, he's a human rights lawyer goddamnit!

By the way, Johnny Warren died today. Very sad. He did great things for soccer in this country. Good man. RIP.

Top 5 Cravings

I can't concentrate. My mind keeps wandering to these 5 things:

1. Oportos (mmmm... chilli sauce...)
2. Chicken Bulgogi (at the place in Sussex Centre)
3. Krispy Kremes (so saccharine-sweet, I can feel my arteries tightening just thinking about them)
4. Kim Chi Soup (at that restaurant in Surry Hills)
5. Chips and gravy

Mmmmmm.......I'm going to go eat now! :)

Arundhati Roy: Sydney Peace Prize

Arundhati Roy will be presenting Sydney Peace Prize lecture tonight at the Seymour Centre.

When I grow up, I want to be just like her! ;)

She’s just so incredibly insightful, intelligent, dynamic, compassionate, articulate, an eloquent communicator, very authentic in what she believes in. When she argues her point of view, it’s in a much understated compellingly peaceful manner. I’ve read some criticism about her, dismissing her as overly-naïve, overly-dogmatic, lack of understanding of human complexities but I don’t see that. I mean when you get to crux of her arguments, they’re really not that simplistic nor black-and-white, in fact, she rails against that sort of vision. Although, I guess I’m biased because the subject matters she identifies with and the way she views them resonate with me; they closely mirror my own perspective on life, on politics, on humanity and the hope she speaks of, I truly believe in. I think she’s beautiful, not beautiful as in fortunate-quirk-of-genes beautiful, but you know how some people, you look at them, you just realise that they’re gracefully beautiful human beings. Ahem, gushing fangirl moment over.

I have read articles she has written on social, political, & environmental issues and I just love her work. And The God of Small Things is a fantastic book, I highly recommend it.

"What shall we choose? Violence or non-violence? We have to choose knowing that when we are violent to our enemies, we do violence to ourselves. When we brutalise others, we brutalise ourselves. And eventually we run the risk of becoming our oppressors."

She is up there with Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi.

In other news: US ELECTION!!! *crossing fingers*. If it's Bush and Cheney again, 2004 will go down as the worst year on record voting-wise. (I mean Ricki-Lee got voted out of Idol last month, like hello!)

It's back! Hurrah!

Finally, this is back online, inspired by everyone else. I've managed to wipe out half of everything I've ever written, not to mention the adding comments feature and it's going for the whole unique too-cool-for-school minimalist effect. ;) Also, hmm, I'm having trouble collating a list of links.

I've been reading people's blogs and online journals all day (feeling slightly guilty but it is Monday and my head hurts too much to think of real work). :)

I've decided that my previous sporadic blog was too political after all the hatemail I got. (Yeah, thanks for that guys). So I'm going to make this personal, update it more frequently and yes, I will re-enable the comments feature BUT I reserve the right to edit all comments. :D

Stupid Election Result

I've been whining like a bitch since the Election/Housewarming Party at Al's and Echt's. But since then, talking to people and realising their despair, oddly enough, it's made me kind of sick of all this defeatist depression. Maybe I should go hang out with the Young Libs. ;) Yeah right!

If our media and our democratic institutions cannot (or will not) hold our politicians to account then we need to be more vocal. As depressed as we all are, we cannot afford to be emotionally despondent for too long. I'm lifting myself out of this veil of despair (even if I cannot understand all those people who handed the Senate to the govt on a silver platter, you bastards!).

The election result is a setback, but apathetic, doubtlessly self-interested constituents are perennial. But then so is our power to continue to believe that we can cause a change to occur and win this bestial war against ignorance based on small individual effects for the greater good. Being mindful to ensure that those effects are not diluted by mendacious confusion induced loss of focus aimed at personal vulnerabilities (such as interest rates…argh!).

Political activism should not end for an individual because the party they favour is not in power. Electoral promises are just mutable deliberately partial and interpretive working documents attempting to generate credibility in the fragile and volatile environment of opinion. This is the art of spin, jingle-writing and propaganda. Therefore, we have a necessity to be more vocal and politically active. The population needs to become more resistant to easy election talk.

So in a long-winded way, join a party (Greens maybe)! Or if that is not your cup of tea, pick a cause and become active. Talk to as many people as possible but don’t harangue. Give people an alternative, to be better informed, to hear out your perspective. Whether it's about not having two-tiered education and health systems, not detaining innocent refugees, advocating reconciliation, equality in marriage, not engaging in illegal wars, respect for international laws, fair demarcation of boundary lines with East Timor, signing the Kyoto protocol, protecting workers and so on.

Besides, there are a lot of people who don't support Howard (damnit, he was taken to preferences in his own electorate, tradtionally, a safe Liberal seat)! And moreso in 3 years time. It's time to capitalise on that.

Disclaimer: Despite all this, I still reserve the right to whinge and bitch about this election result for the next few years (gotta be true to those leftist roots). But in all seriousness, the idea of cross-ownership media laws, workplace relations laws and what not that will be passed through the Senate is actually worrying me a great deal. *sigh*

Top 5 Literary Crushes

Normal people develop normal crushes. I, on the other hand, only ever develop crushes on fictional characters. But then again, I think I eject reality at every given opportunity. And contrary to popular opinion, I'm not really drawn to the Byronic hero. Sure, they're dark, brooding and moody but a heightened sense of passion does not a good honourable man make (ie. Rochester).

Here is my list :
1. Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)
2. Mr Darcy *swoon* (Both Pride and Prejudice and Bridget Jones')
3. Aragorn (Lord of the Rings trilogy)
4. Odysseus (self-titled) and Hector (The Iliad)
5. Levin (Anna Karenina)

There are a few honorary mentions as well: Sirius Black, the tall dark handsome boys from SVH, Holden Caulfield, Noah Coulhan. Also, all the heroes from Louis Cha's novels (although, they're about as one-dimensional and unrealistic as you can get!)

I have only my dreams

Yeats wrote it best, "tread softly because you tread on my dreams

"Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Spirituality: a crock?

If I had to assess myself honestly, I would say that my life is rife with pragmatism. Yet, something I've always advocated and believed in are the concepts of spirituality and soul. Here are excerpts from a letter that I had written to a friend:

Is it a little too new-age, too self-indulgent narcissistic meaningless search for transcendent experiences, too Oprah-remembering-your-spirit craptacular for you? I like the amorphous quality of spirituality and soul. Can we really define it, pinpoint it down to a few words, do we even want to? Realistically, wouldn’t it mean different things to different people, it’s so damn elusive and subjective. The idea of a soul is not that puzzling to me, perhaps, my own ideology is very simplistic. Spirituality involves the non-physical, non-biological, the soul, the need for a deep connection with life and others. Damn, that’s a pretty dismal attempt at articulating what I mean.

Ok let me try again. The derivation of the word is from the Latin “spiritus”, which literally means "breath," so I equate spirituality as a metaphor for the breath of life. You know all those feelings of awe, joy, wonder; things that manifest the spirtual such as love, sunsets, music, stars, poetry, the arts, literature, freedom, or whatever takes your fancy. Science provides us with knowledge that these experiences are triggered by the release of endorphins but that knowledge doesn't change the experience itself or make it any less meaningful. We are seized by the power of that experience. And while religion dictates that the spiritual is actually beyond humanity, demanding that we need salvation (pooey to that), I don’t buy it. I think spiritual experiences are grounded in humanity, they may be the most profound experiences, but it is human nonetheless. So our spirits are decidely human, just not in the biological sense.

Does that make sense? I don't know but I feel (albeit rather abstractly) that it's impossible to deny our spirituality as we would be denying our humanity?

Man, I'm like.... deep :p

In other news, last night I went to the best Korean BBQ restaurant in Sydney. It is hidden in the most obscure location. When you step in, you're transported to another world.

The quiet beauty of sunset...

How beautiful is sunset?

The sunlight fading from the fiery ambers of sunset into a wonderful kaleidoscope of deep brilliant blues and violets of the destined night. I love capturing this gradual transition. And after such beauty, the possibilities and promises of the night hang imminently in the air. I love night time, so magical.

“The stars are forth, the moon above the tops
Of the snow-shining mountains--
Beautiful! I linger yet with Nature, for the night
Hath been to me a more familiar face
Than that of man; and in her starry shade
Of dim and solitary loveliness
I learn'd the language of another world.”

Weird Latin Phrase

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!

It translates to "may barbarians invade your personal space!"

I'm directing it to myself.

Maybe I should break out into a Lady MacBeth soliloquy?

“Out damned spot! out, I say! One; two. Why then ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our pow’r to accompt? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?”

A Place to Call Home

Today is World Refugee Day and this year, it is dedicated to the theme, “A Place to Call Home.” Amid the flight from conflict and persecution, in the tent cities of refugee camps, and during the wait in unbearable uncertainty to see what the future will hold, it is a refugee's most cherished dream to find a place to call home and live in dignity and security. At present, there are approximately 17 million refugees in this world.

Being a refugee is being a name and a number on lists. It is being in a mass of people shuffled from one point to another, not knowing what you have to do next or where you are going. It is being a child fearful you will be separated from your parents. It is having faith to believe that wherever you go will be better than where you have been. When you are a refugee, hope is the last thing you dare let go.

As a person who was once a refugee and whose family went through horrific circumstances to rebuild our lives, I speak straight from the heart as I appeal for compassion for refugees. :( They are human beings who have committed no crime. It is a moral crime to imprison innocent people. It is time to END MANDATORY DETENTION CENTRES.

Nature vs. Nurture

I'll be completely unoriginal and tackle an age-old debate that really just goes around in circles. :) So what dictates our behaviour: our upbringing or our genes? There's a growing body of research which supports the idea that genes do dictate certain behaviours. For a good read, try "The Blank Slate" by Steven Pinker. And Pinker is very consistent with behaviour geneticists who have shown that about half of the variability in a trait like IQ is biological in origin.

Pinker’s debunking of the theories of the Blank Slate, the Nobel Savage and the Ghost in the Machine are quite fabulous. And I think one of the most important messages is that he is right to insist we can't hope to expand our circle of creative, life-affirming choices without truthfully identifying its factual, natural, and evolutionary constraints.

But I think there is problem with the reliance on the logic of evolutionary psychology. From a pragmatic point of view, even when there is evidence that fixed biological factors contribute to behaviour, all that the evidence can show is that an evolutionary explanation is plausible, not that it is either necessary or sufficient. And while we can be clear about the distinction between underlying evolutionary mechanisms (selfish genes) & proximate psychological mechanisms (overt motivations eg. envy, altruism, malice). Politics & education need to assess the degree of freedom evolution may leave to those mechanisms as we seek to influence them for the better. (http://www.mit.edu/~pinker/slate_reviews_file/)

Having said all that, therefore, our genetic background gives us more grounds for hope than despair. Our innate capacity for empathy, love and compassion, properly developed, usually can and does overcome our most disturbing selfish impulses. At the end of the day, I think we realise that we have to move beyond the simplistic dichotomy between heredity & environment and realised that all behaviour comes out of an interaction between the two. And also that “Nature is what we were put in this world to rise above.”

Perspective

"Moving of the earth brings harms & fears
Men reckon what it did & meant,
But tredipation of the spheres
Though greater far, is innocent"

These words come from one of my favourite poems and poet (A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning, John Donne). Basically, it gives me perspective.

Although, I think when Donne wrote it at the time, he was very witty (most metaphysical poets were!). Comparing his and his mistress' love to something as profound as the planetary movements of our solar system.

The Human Disposition to Obey & Conform

I was reading an article in the SMH about Stanley Milgram’s infamous obedience to authority experiment and I remember studying this when working on my thesis last year. The findings of these experiments are quite disturbing.

Using a fake `memory experiment' scenario, Milgram sets up a situation where participants were asked to administer shocks of (they believed) lethal voltage to other members of the public. The majority (approx. 66%) complied with the experimenter's orders. These experiments demonstrate with jarring clarity that ordinary individuals could be induced to act destructively even in the absence of physical coercion, and humans need not be innately evil or aberrant to act in ways that are reprehensible. (NB. Milgram's work was inspired by an effort to understand the Holocaust)

Let’s use another example. Hartwell, a law professor, conducted an educational exercise for his students in which they were to individually advise litigants in a small-claims court. He told his students that he would be available in an adjacent office if they needed to consult with him. Hartwell writes:

The "clients" were, in fact, a single confederate who sought the same advice from each student. how she should present her side of a rent dispute. I told each student to advise the client to lie under oath that she had paid the rent. When students asked for clarification, I uniformly responded, "...My advice is that, if your client wants to win her case, then you must tell her to perjure herself."... We wanted them to experience the pull between loyalty to authority... and prescribed ethical conduct.... Although many of the 24 participating students grumbled either to me or to the client about my proffered advice, 23 told their client to perjure herself.

Given the findings of these experiments, I want to pose the question: is it normal human psychology to let pressures to obey and/or to conform override our ethical principles? I’d like to think when faced with a moral dilemma, we will act as our conscience dictates but these experiments teach us that in a concrete situation with powerful social constraints, our moral sense can easily be trampled.

The fact that our moral sense can be easily trampled or that its actually hard for people to stay true to their own ethics worries me a great deal. I'm not talking just about times of war or conflict (as horrific as these examples are), I want to extend its applicability to everyday life as well.

Most intelligent people realise that prejudices are wrong, that harming another human being is wrong or bullying someone weaker should not be tolerated. But how often do people ignore slurs on the street, watch someone get their bag stolen & ignore it, or the children in our playgrounds ignoring the bullying of another child, in fear of being the next target?

Why are people like Ronald Ridenhour, the exception rather than the rule? (Ridenhour refused to even give the first shock when he did the Milgram experiment and later, became the whistleblower for the My Lai masscre, against all his friends' & family's wishes).There's something we can all learn from these experiments with regards to the kind of person that we are and the kind of person we can potentially be.

*gets off moral highground*

Spain's Election: A sign of things to come?

Democracy: This is a case of the people having a voice. Sunday's elections drew the largest turnout (10.5 million) of any polls held since the restoration of democracy after the death of dictator Franco. The Aznar government was characterized by its rigidity, lack of dialogue with the opposition and its tendency to turn a deaf ear to the massive protests against the invasion of Iraq, before and after it occurred. The people were sick to death of being lied to!

One wonders whether this is any indication of things to come, come our own federal election & the US election later this year. I'm hopeful.

I also want to add that events in Spain last week were devastating, to say the least. At the moment, it looks uncertain whether it is the work of Al Q'aida or ETA. I denounce all acts of terror and violence whether they be perpetrated by individuals, groups or nation states. Terrorism is terrorism regardless of whether it's effected by tanks (yes that is you Israel!) and aircraft or suicide bombers, regardless of the colour or creed of the sufferer.

However, I don't think this "war on terror" is great foreign policy. We need to understand why people are causing senseless bloodshed. We need to shift away from this conservative fundamentalist ideals of everyone being just plain evil or against us for no particular reason. (That's what I'm going to say at my next beauty pageant. :p World peace rocks y'all!)